I sit down here each week and have so much to say. So many things on my mind. When I first started engaging in the internet, I had that awful experience that often comes with a new job: I practiced it in my sleep. I'd dream of things I wanted to post, or witty retorts to things other people had said. The only thing that helped me get through that was time and staying away. Now I do my best to limit screen time, not because of some philosophical opposition but because it's just the best choice for me in practice. Staying away, waiting, gives me some clarity. I have immense respect for bloggers who post every day because I simply don't have the courage. I need time to process before I'm ready to share.
I lie in bed at night and think about the lessons I've learned as a parent (and human) that day, the battles I've fought and won and those that I've lost. I think about the women who came before me, and those who will come after, not least of all my daughter, and what this world holds for them.
Each night, I try to unpack my load. I try to process what has happened to me. How it could have been different and how I have been changed. I try to leave the day behind fully by shining my attention onto its significance for a few moments and then letting it go, watching it float away in the roaring river that is time passing. (And that river flows much faster now that I'm a parent and older.)
I think about this space, "the blog", and how it has evolved. I wonder if you like my thoughts about life and parenting, or if you just scroll past them to see the pictures and recipes. (I assure you that either is totally fine with me.) I debate about whether it's ok for me to share things about my daughter without her consent. I try not to talk about her here in great detail because her life is not mine.
I want to be clear, though, I also think about all kinds of silly, shallow things. I consider sharing my post-pregnancy skin-care routine and wardrobe strategies as a working mom. I wonder if you'd be interested in anecdotes about my students or dog.
When it comes down to it, I just have to decide. I just have to get the ball rolling and words flowing.
Today I am going to share a few quick links that I've enjoyed recently because these are the things that are on my mind right now.
My social networking, for all its faults, leads me to some incredibly interesting and thought provoking stuff. Here are some thing I've been taking that you might like:
This letter from Finoa Apple about why she needed to cancel her tour to be home with her dying dog. Yes, it's verbose and dramatic, but there are some very thoughtful and poignant parts. Specifically these spoke to me (emphasis mine):
1. 10 Tips for Healthy Eating During the Holidays by Montana Solar Creations. "As part of my journey to eat healthier, not just during the holidays but year around, I thought it would be fun to share some tips I've learned and incorporate into my eating habits to help you all eat a little healthier during the holidays."
2. Homemade Wood Butter by Prudent Pantry. "Wood butter is a wonderful homemade product that you can use for all of your wood kitchen items from wooden spoons to cutting boards."
3. Quick Cuban Bread by LightlyCrunchy. "This is the fastest, easiest and as a bonus, possibly the cheapest bread you can make."